This is going to be a long one, so if you want to skip the backstory and go down to a list of what not to do and why not to do it, scroll down to where it says “Temptation Leads to Trouble” again.
The Backstory
I’m a holistic facialist, an aesthetician who uses herbs and teaches my clients how to truly take care of their skin. I’ve been working in natural skin care since 1999, and I consider myself a practitioner, not a salesperson. My role is not to sell products or services but to help my clients achieve beautiful, healthy, vibrant skin in the most natural way possible.
Even just 10 years ago, my job was a lot easier. Clients would come to me looking to maintain or improve the health of their skin. They would find their way to me either because they had searched specifically for what I do and had read some of my articles on my website, The Pimple Whisperer, or because someone who had already worked with me had recommended me to them. At that point I already had over 10 years of experience in holistic skin care, so it was pretty easy for me to listen, assess, and make recommendations that would gently nudge them toward a place of beautiful, functional skin. They would take those recommendations seriously (I should hope so, since they were paying a lot for the time they were spending with me!) and come back for follow-up appointments showing improvement in their skin, until they didn’t need me anymore. Then they would mostly just come a couple of times a year for a general check-in, a bit of a nudge, if necessary, or the ultimate in relaxation.* When tempted by the outside world with promises of quick fixes or grand improvements (which is against the Brooklyn Herborium way), they would say, “No, thank you; I’m happy with my simple regimen and my well-functioning skin,” and go on with their lives.
But then something changed. I would send new clients home with the same specific directions I had been giving for years, but when they came back for their follow-up appointments, I would see some improvement, maybe, but not as much as I was used to seeing. Through careful questioning, I would find out that they were not quite following the directions as given.
What was going wrong here?!
At first I thought it was me. Maybe I wasn’t being clear enough. I knew that our holistic methods were different from almost everything else out there and therefore might be a bit confusing, at least compared with conventional skin care, so I made sure to be clearer in my directions. I said them out loud, first during the facial service (at the beginning, as I was asking the client about what they were currently doing in terms of skin care and self-care, and making corrections as we went along), and again while writing them out after the service. Soon I filmed videos on how to do things, and I wrote articles explaining why we do things the way we do them, and posted them all here at BrooklynHerborium.com.
And things got a little better. The 75 percent of clients who followed the directions were reaping the benefits and doing great. But many — facial clients as well as customers who had ordered our products online — were not using our products as directed. Some even saw extremely good results while using our products but still strayed to other products that ended up making their skin worse, and then they would find their way back to us to “fix” their skin. (If this was you, please don’t feel called out, as you were not the only one. That’s why I end up writing these things!)
So I started asking questions: Why were y’all getting confused? And I learned that it wasn’t because our instructions were confusing, for they were actually quite simple. The real reason is that there is a disconnect between what we teach at Brooklyn Herborium — that the body is intelligent, and that we should support it and let it function as best as possible on its own — and the constant barrage of messages from society at large suggesting that we should be telling the body what to do, or doing things for it.
Did you know that there is a whole cultural apparatus out there designed to sell you stuff that you don’t need and that isn’t actually good for you? Yes, really! We are being exposed to those messages constantly (and more so now than ever before, thanks to social media), with “control” being portrayed as the best way, and indeed the only way. We’re told that if we don’t “take control” of our health, our appearance, our weight, the aging process, etc., then we’re missing something. And we’re led to believe that if we just buy the perfect products (foods, treatments, etc.), then all our imperfections (and thus all our grievances) will simply disappear. And my, oh, my, aren’t we all tempted to fall back into that belief system? It feels so much easier: Just find the “hack” that immediately gives you the “results” you want!
Sometimes the most important part of my job as a holistic facialist is to gently pull my clients’ attention back from what I call “control culture” and remind them to focus on the body’s beautiful autonomy. I let my clients know that we are here, quietly and peacefully doing the supportive thing that we have been doing year after year, and will still be here whenever they may need a reminder.
So why am I writing this now, and how do temptations fit in?
I recently saw a new client who had found her way to us. During our second visit, as I was suggesting corrections to her at-home care regimen, she became visibly annoyed that, during our first visit, I had not “warned” her about all the possible things that she could do incorrectly. In fact, I had spent a good amount of time after that session explaining why we do things the way we do them, and I had provided printed-out worksheets as well. She acknowledged as much, but she told me that she would have preferred that I “threaten” her with consequences — instill in her some fear of what might happen if she didn’t do things exactly my way — so that she wouldn’t be tempted to stray!
This is an extreme example, but it helped me realize that we don’t always recognize temptations. This client made it pretty clear that she’d strayed from my directions not because I hadn’t told her what I wanted her to do, but because she “didn’t think it mattered” if she strayed. (Maybe those people who make incredible claims about doing things their way are onto something! Because we at Brooklyn Herborium don’t make incredible claims, maybe we just don’t know!)
You may not be so blatant about it, but perhaps you have little inklings of those same thoughts. Maybe you allow yourself to be swayed by the promise of “the next best thing” without even realizing it. So, for your sake, I have made a list of temptations that I have seen my clients giving in to, along with some of the possible consequences of giving in to them. I hope it helps you stay on track with our supportive methods and think about why you do the things you do to your skin!
Temptation Leads to Trouble
Moisture Duo
The temptation:
To use Nourish & Replenish Oil alone, without a Mineral Mist, or to change the oil-to-water ratio in the Moisture Duo (for example, by adding more drops of oil when you feel “dry”).
Why you might be tempted:
Because there are now ads all over the place saying that you can use oil as a “hydrating moisturizer,” or because you are conditioned to think that if something feels dry, then it needs more oil. (Hint: It doesn’t.) Also, for many people, it feels really, really good to do this, at least at first, so it may seem like you are doing the right thing!
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
After a while, your skin will start feeling drier and drier. It may feel relieved when you do use oil, but especially parched when you don’t. It’s not a good cycle to be in.
(Sometimes, as a practitioner, I do recommend switching up the oil-to-water ratio for a specific, transitional reason, but this would only be for a limited time, with the goal of eventually returning to the recommended ratio: 3 drops of Nourish & Replenish oil + 5 sprays of Mineral Mist.)
What to do instead:
If you feel like 3 drops of Nourish & Replenish Oil plus 5 sprays of Mineral Mist directly into the oil and rubbed onto the skin is not enough, simply do the same thing twice, keeping the ratio the same. When the air is particularly dry, you could also use a fully formulated moisturizer (such as Edith Rose Cream or LOMAH) over your Moisture Duo, but most people don’t need to do this. Also, you can certainly enjoy a few pumps of Mineral Mist on your face before you apply your Moisture Duo, but remember: These pumps directly onto your face do not count as part of the Moisture Duo!
Further resources on this topic:
Mixing and Matching Products
The temptation:
To use any other oil (or mix of oils) and/or any other spray (hydrosol, witch hazel, toner, etc.) and convincing yourself that you are doing what I recommended for you.
Why you might be tempted:
Because there are all kinds of cool products, many of them promising to fix all our troubles, being put before our eyes every day. Or maybe you ran out of your Between You & the Moon products and wanted to restock with something cheap and easy from Whole Foods. Or maybe you just like to tinker.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
You won’t get the same results. Single-ingredient oil “serums” won’t give you everything you need over the long term, and your skin may end up becoming imbalanced. And most oil blends that are out there are either intoxicating mixtures of super-high-potency, active oils, which we at Brooklyn Herborium don’t believe are suitable for everyday use, or cheap blends containing ungodly amounts of essential oils.
Our Mineral Mists are truly unique in that they have been remineralized to offer the skin specific essential minerals transdermally. If you are trying to help your skin grow out of redness, irritation, and inflammatory conditions, these minerals are super-duper important.
What to do instead:
Sometimes we will have you continue using the products you already have while transitioning slowly into using our products, as long as we don’t think that will hinder your progress too much. Also, we appreciate that some people might want to go the DIY route, and we encourage that when appropriate, but much of the time, troubled skin needs more guidance before you can get to the point of thriving with DIY skin care. So if you need to, ask us! Come into one of our shops when we are open, or book an appointment, or send us an email. (P.S. Please don’t try to contact us through social media. It’s not our thing, and we will eventually get around to asking you to contact us in person or through email anyway.)
Further resources on this topic:
Supportive vs. Controlling Regimen
The temptation:
To fall back into a “controlling” regimen.
Why you might be tempted:
Because “everyone is doing it!” It’s true: There are very few skincare companies out there that recommend caring for your face the way we do. Maybe your skin gets dry and you feel like it’s necessary to “help” your skin by lubing it up.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
Getting into what I call a “control cycle,” where you are constantly doing something to your skin or for your skin. You use a bunch of products in an effort to keep it “under control,” and your skin just isn’t as vibrant or as lovely as it would be if you just allowed it to do the work for itself. The control cycle is not going to destroy your life (or your skin), but you just aren’t going to have the freedom that supportive skin care offers.
What to do instead:
One specific direction that you really must follow is this: Do not oil cleanse more than once in any 24-hour period — and you would do better to oil cleanse even less frequently than that! Oil cleansing is powerful, so if you choose to do it, please follow our specific recommendations.
Further resources on this topic:
Diet for Incredibly Good Skin
The temptation:
To follow a restrictive diet.
Why you might be tempted:
Because we live in a culture that tells us that if we just follow the perfect diet, we will never get sick, and we will be incredibly beautiful all the time. Perhaps, when we get anxious about upcoming events, we feel like the one thing we can control is our food intake or our weight. We also may restrict our food intake because we have been led to believe that that is what we are supposed to do, because, again, our culture promotes dieting as something everyone needs, in order for certain people to sell whatever the latest diet thing is.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
If you don’t get enough nutrients and energy from your food, your body won’t have what it needs to function well, create metabolic harmony, or build new skin cells optimally. Also, restrictive diets wreak havoc on all the body’s systems, especially the nervous system. Specifically, stress bumps around the perimeter of your face can come from erratic snacking behavior that usually follows restrictive eating. A factor in poor structural integrity tends to be a lack of the “building blocks” that the skin needs. And certain dietary restrictions upset the microbiome, which can lead to skin problems. Finally, eating too many raw foods or whole grains tends to lead to red, irritable skin, perhaps due to a lack of essential minerals.
What to do instead:
Nourish your body. Eat balanced meals, without snacking between them. Most people do best on three meals a day, but some do fine (or better) on two or four. Don’t cut out entire food groups. Don’t judge your food as “good” or “bad,” but recognize how you feel when you are eating in certain ways. If you are giving yourself lots of foods that taste great, fill you up, and feel awesome in your body (such as cooked vegetables, soups, and balanced dishes) and allowing your body to decide how much you get of those foods that are fun to eat but don’t really satisfy your needs, and how often, your body can figure it out!
Further resources on this topic:
Massage and Modalities
The temptation:
To overuse breakdown or contouring techniques for facial massage.
Why you might be tempted:
Because “it’s only massage, so it can’t be harmful,” or because there are influencers on social media who say it’s OK for daily use, and they look great. (By the way, many of them are super-young and just started doing this stuff a couple of weeks ago. Also, filters!)
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
If you break down (and contour) more than you allow time to build up, your skin will be left struggling to rebuild. It will create new cells in emergency fashion, using what is immediately available, rather than taking its time to do it right. Pulling the fascia away from the muscles in an intense way is not a great idea — even if it is with a beautiful crystal. (Gently contouring with it on a monthly basis or before an event is fine; just don’t dig in!)
What to do instead:
Both the alignment technique (reflexology) and the drainage technique (lymphatic movement) can be done daily. Save the breakdown technique for a weekly session (remember that it is very topical, almost like you are using an eraser), and contour even less than that — monthly at the most!
Further resources on this topic:
What we do not recommend for at-home use:
- Sonic cleansing brushes or massagers: When used regularly as part of at-home care, they can lead to overstimulation and cause irritation, usually in the form of painful under-the-surface welts. They also tend to be too exfoliating.
- Microcurrent devices: Although they give the skin a useful, short-term lift, they interfere with the nervous system and set you up on a control cycle that becomes increasingly impossible to keep up with.
- Fascia-breaking tools: We consider these to be a big no-no! Fascia needs to be strong and intact. It can deal with a little “stress,” but not at the level that these tools subject it to. Initially, they may look like they’re doing something, but this type of deep massage is only creating inflammation (which we silly humans think looks like a “healthy glow”) that can very quickly lead to sagging skin falling off the muscle, which cannot be reattached. Also, due to the “trauma” factor, many users of such devices report hormone dysregulation and other full-body problems.
- Microneedling: This is an incredible modality that can really benefit those who have tertiary conditions (things like acne scars or sun-damaged skin). But in order for it to work properly, you must meet certain criteria; otherwise you will have wasted your time. The new skin that is created is closer to scar tissue than healthy tissue, but for some people, that is preferable. If your skin is healthy and good as is, there is no need to try this; it will not make your skin any better!
Exfoliation
The temptation:
To exfoliate too often.
Why you might be tempted:
Because advertising tells us we “should.” You might also be tempted because it feels good and leaves your skin feeling baby-soft. You get used to the look and feel of having the upper layers taken off, revealing the plump, young cells below.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
Those plump, young cells are now unprotected because you took off the “dead” upper layers, which leaves you more susceptible to sun damage, and to other problems as well. The microbiome may be disrupted. The skin can become sensitized.
What to do instead:
While we can understand a bit of exfoliation before a special event, we don’t want you to make exfoliation your M.O. Sow Your Wild Oats and the Integrity Biome Mask are actually best when used as masks, by mixing them in a separate bowl (1 tsp product + 1 tsp super-hot water) and applying them gently. This makes them more nourishing (because the nutrients of the herbs are more available) and less exfoliating (scrubby).
Further resources on this topic:
Active Products
The temptation:
To use active products as part of your daily skincare routine.
Why you might be tempted:
Because we are taught that this is the way skin care works: You have to make your skin do what you want it to do! Also, every day is a party, so you must absolutely look your best every day!
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
In some ways, the most unfortunate consequence of doing it this way is that you end up becoming reliant on these expensive products to “look good” every day, and you are less happy with your skin if you don’t use them. This also means that, after a while, they don’t really do that thing they did before, and your fancy products that you once loved just don’t do it for you anymore! The other end of the spectrum is that not only do they not “work” for you after a while, but they start irritating and perhaps even damaging your skin. Boooooo!
What to do instead:
Save the active products for special occasions. Then they will still have that magic when you need them! Also, there are certain boosters, such as vitamin C, that we have found work best in intermittent, strong bursts instead of daily use. We use it in a calculated way to give the skin more of a push than a nudge, in order to trigger it into responding in a certain way.
Further resources on this topic:
Anti-Aging
The temptation:
To fall under the “anti-aging” spell.
Why you might be tempted:
We’re only human. When we see those around us worrying about aging, we jump on board. And somehow, the society we live in has collectively agreed to believe that there are things we can do, without consequences, that will somehow make us look “younger,” and perhaps even that there’s something out there that can keep us from getting old forever.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
Beyond how problematic it is to say we want to stop people from aging, there is another consideration (perhaps more relevant to your quest for beautiful skin) to think about: When we talk about “anti-aging” (in terms of aggressive massages, hyperexfoliation, and active products), most of the immediate effect that is seen in the skin is actually an inflammatory response. It is your immune system working to protect you from the damage you are inflicting upon yourself, or actively fixing that damage. The more you damage your skin, the harder it is for it to recover, particularly if you are not giving it ample time to rebuild. This will make the visible signs that people associate with aging appear faster and more aggressively.
What to do instead:
To be blunt: Keep reminding yourself that all those things that you can do to give yourself the immediate result of looking “fresher” are actually contributing to a quicker decline in the overall radiance and vibrancy of your skin over the long term. Step out of the control cycle and allow your skin to thrive in its own time. You won’t regret it.
Further resources on this topic:
Sun Protection
The temptation:
To believe that when you slather yourself in SPF, you are fully protected from sun damage.
Why you might be tempted:
We want to believe that we can buy something that makes us invincible to the forces of Mother Nature.
Possible consequences of giving in to this temptation:
The problem with sunscreen is that it makes us believe that we are fully protected from sun damage long after we are, simply because it is preventing a sunburn. We somehow think that that gives us “permission” to roast in the sun longer than our skin can handle. Also, thinking that sunscreen will protect us from sun damage after we have exfoliated or used active products is dangerous. Just because you aren’t feeling the burn doesn’t mean you aren’t doing the damage.
What to do instead:
Use an additional physical protector like a wide-brimmed hat, especially if you have jeopardized the integrity of your skin in any way. Of course, be sure to get your 15 minutes of sun exposure daily (for your vitamin D), but if you are going to be in the sun for longer than that, wear a hat. Even if you are using a sunscreen that prevents a sunburn (highly recommended if you are going to be out all day, as sunburns ruin vacations), be aware of just how long that sunscreen actually protects you from both UVA radiation (the kind that causes long-term trouble) and UVB radiation (the kind that causes the burns).
Further resources on this topic:
Read the back of your sunscreen bottle. When it says that sunscreen is only part of your skin-protection plan, take that seriously.
Decisions, Decisions…
Deciding to support your skin instead of trying to control it does not mean giving up on having gorgeous, vibrant skin. In fact, the way we see things at Brooklyn Herborium, that’s the only way to actually achieve gorgeous, vibrant skin. An experienced practitioner who is able to take all these things into consideration can help you find a nuanced balance between supporting your skin and having skin “goals,” but it is up to you to keep on keeping on that path.
You don’t just make this decision once and that’s it. You are going to have to make this decision again and again. You will be asked over and over on a daily basis to buy into something that isn’t in your best interest. It is up to you to take your hands off the “buy now” button and bring them to your heart.
When you are ready to support your skin, we are here to support you.
*Body-Mind Alignment (that part where I pull out the wands and you drift into Harmonyland) is part of every service, or it can be a standalone service. Additional alignment work can also be added to any level of facial.
By Emma Graves
Emma, a certified herbalist and highly skilled aesthetician, has been working in natural skin care since 1998. She originally developed the Between You & the Moon product line to serve her clients in finding a method of natural, holistic skin care that provided tangible results. A 4+ generation holistic practitioner, Emma chronicled her love of skin care and holistic methods in her early blog “The Pimple Whisperer,” some of which is still available on this website.